As a small child I use to tell my mother about the reoccurring dreams I would have.
Luckily for me, she listened and understood this part of me.
I would explain to her in my dreams, that my fingers were cracked, raw and always bleeding. That my ankles, wrists and throat were tied.
She would mention past lives. I didn’t understand what ‘past lives’ meant at that age. I just knew I was deeply connected to a different world. A different dimension… I internalized it as ‘something wrong with me’ to feel and see so vividly, at 8 years old.
Years later when I moved to Memphis, TN, at the age of 22-
I saw my first cotton field. I nearly crashed my car in an effort to quickly pullover, I was so intrigued.
I got out of my car and ran to the fields. As soon as I started to pick, I knew what my mother had talked about years earlier…
I saw worlds of different lives flashing in my mind… I wept for so many things in that moment… still not fully processing, and definitely not accepting of my weird experiences…
Fast forward to present day-
Seeing my first cotton field here in AZ yesterday, I begged the husband to pull over. I had him pick some with me…
Together, respectfully in silence. Tears streaming down my face. Flashing back to many, many lifetimes, wondering when this journey will end…
Realizing just how tired my soul really is, I laid down to cry and let Mother hold me🌎
After I cried in the dirt, something caught my dusty eyes.
“Shit, glass” I exclaimed to the husband. Upon further investigation, we found Tourmaline crystals all around us! In that moment, I knew we were witnessing the most super-natural healing gifts!
(Normally I have something to give to Madre (Earth) in these situations, like dried flowers, herbs or lavender already pre-made, from my yard and gardens in WA state.
But I forgot on this particular day. So instead, I gave her some marijuana flower that I had on me. This Energy Exchange felt full circle… so we proceeded to collect)
I purged and cried the last few years/months out of me. Finally feeling seen in my brokenness. Accepting the things I can’t change. Courage to change the things I can. And finally having the wisdom to know & understand my weird damn self!
As we gathered, all I could say was thank you, thank you, thank you through the tears and squeals of joy😅
Madre- thank you for always healing me and putting me back together when my soul feels heavy and tired…
Thank you cotton fields for your deeper meaning into my spiritual discoveries of self…
Thank you Akashic Records for helping me sort out these last 44 years and then some…
Thank you Tourmaline crystals!
Tourmaline is thought to be for people who bear a broken heart, as it encourages love, gently disperses emotional pain.
It calms the negative emotions that upset relationships. It is also considered an aphrodisiac, helping people realize when it is safe to love and when it is time to overcome sorrow or traumatic memories.
It introduces the presence of compassion and wisdom when dealing with others because it is thought to promote flexibility of thought and open-mindedness.
It will protect the wearer until they are strong enough in their own power by breaking through old patterns and fears and cultivating inner wisdom, courage, stability and patience.
Let me know if you’ve ever found Tourmaline right from the Earth or if you give back to Madre when you take from her🌸
Thanks for reading and so many Blessings, dear ones!